Posts tagged ‘topping’

May 19th, 2013

Labour of Love

You’re waiting for me, kneeling on the floor, head bowed, patient.  I see you have everything prepared, lined up neatly beside you, ready for the task ahead of you.  I crack a smile, knowing your little perfectionist ways, happy with you being ready for me.  I stand over you, reaching down to stroke your hair, caress your cheek, gently raising your face so our eyes meet.  The look of eagerness and excitement makes me smile again.  I know you will enjoy this; my little treat for you.

We have our ritual, mainly unspoken, established through our mutual love and enjoyment.  You start at my waist, spraying the polish generously and working it into the latex with care and attention.  You pride yourself in the shine almost as much as I do, wanting to do a good job and please me as well.  Your hands sweep over the surface, caressing the material, working with a rhythm and flow.  I see the look in your eyes as your nose is filled with that delicious smell.  I see you pause for a second whilst you bring yourself back into the moment.

You work down my legs, your face almost touching them, both hands caressing and smoothing polish into my calves.  I see you inhaling, that look of glee.  I feel tension disappearing from my body, your touch amplified, feeling more intimate than if you were touching my naked skin.  Enclosed and yet so vulnerable, so exposed.  I try to stand steadily, stay focussed, but it becomes harder the longer you are working at the job in hand.

My arms are next and then onto my back.  As the time passes, the smell engulfs the room, making me take deeper, longer breathes.  You massage polish into my shoulders, working away knots whilst making sure my outfit shines.  I can feel your breath on my neck, as slow and careful as my own, taking pleasure in the proximity to the latex.

The final part of our ritual.  You move around to my front again and dedicate a significant time to polishing my chest.  Your attention to detail obvious as I watch you, every inch checked and double checked for shine, making sure there’s enough polish, no corners cut.  Your face a mix of concentration and joy, my body melting from your touch and my pride in you.

You finally decide that you are finished and look at me for approval, for praise, for confirmation that I am happy.  It takes all my strength not to grab you and pull you into my body, to let you into my secret, to take what I really desire.  Instead, I act in control and tell you how pleased I am with you, whilst desperate for the next time, for that touch again.

January 2nd, 2013

Merit Badges

I’ve been a fan of the Kinky Merit Badges for a while now and won four of them in the SM Dykes auction at conference last June.  I also got a Jed Phoenix sash to put them on but have never really got round to doing anything with them.  I’ve finally decided that I need to purchase the other three I think I will deserve and set myself tasks to earn these badges.  Along with that, I also want to make/find myself an outfit that looks something like the old Brownie uniforms to wear my sash with so I can be a kinky girl guide!  I just need a shirt dress and a neck tie thing, maybe in latex (Iki, I’m looking at you!)  So I have something like this, but black:

These are the badges I have and what I plan on doing to award them to myself.  It’s all rather silly, to be honest, but why should kink be so serious all the time?


I want to get better at my flogging technique as I can already take quite a flogging and have made my own floggers.  I am not going to award this one to myself until I feel I can use the long flogger we bought at Folsom.


This one is going to also be awarded for my topping ability too as I would love to learn how to do some basic ties and use the lovely rope Ruby gave me for Christmas.  I will award this to myself when I feel I have managed a scene using rope where I have good connection with my bottom and not just focusing on the rope itself.


This is going to be one I earn for bottoming, I feel as it has been a long time since I’ve been able to receive a caning due to my brain’s difficulty processing pain.  I will know when I am ready to give myself this one.

Breath Control

To be honest, I think I can already give myself this one as I have done this from the top and bottom side of things and love it!


This is one that I think I should have from a topping point of view but I don’t think I deserve it yet until I receive another good, hard spanking!

Needle Play

I want to have a few more needle scenes under my belt and possibly also stick needles in a willing bottom before I let myself have this badge.

Deep Throat

I think the husbear would probably agree that I deserve this one already as I really don’t have much of a gag reflex, although I think that I can make someone choke on my femme cock more first!  Teehee!

December 17th, 2012

Topping Tales

If you’ve been following my blog for a while, you may have read about my previous wibbles in identity and difficulty with topping. I’ve questioned whether I’m actually sadistic, whether I am good enough to top someone, does it make me less of a submissive or bottom, does it mean that I’m a bad person? It’s been a long, neurotic pathway and very much interlinked with my general anxiety and self confidence issues. Maybe I just hadn’t met the right person. Who knows and does it all really matter?

What I’m finding now is that I’m almost more of a top than bottom (although there are definitely ways to bring me to my knees rather swiftly!), very much a switch and I’m able to accept it as part of who I am much more readily.

Having such a fabulous bottom to play with is definitely a huge part of this. From the first time we played, I felt a connection and my self consciousness ebbed away so quickly. It felt so natural. Her calling me Miss and kneeling eagerly at my feet fills me with awesome feelings and inflicting pain, threats and sensations and seeing,  hearing and feeling the reactions gets me so hot!

Instead of feeling threatened or competitive with her other top, I feel empowered. We work well together and boost each others confidence.

And the best thing about all of this? I’ve also got amazing friends out of what started as a play thing. Very much important people in my life.

December 16th, 2012

Fucktoy Surprise

It is so much fun to pull off a surprise trip to the dungeon to abuse the hell out of your girl. She didn’t have a clue until the last minute. 

To use her like a fucktoy, abusing, teasing, taunting and threatening Twitter humiliation if she wasn’t a good girl.

To have a partner in crime to play off and share the responsibility. To bounce ideas off, to mix up the sensations.

The memories of her on her knees, begging for more abuse,  to fill her, to let her come.

Our slut for the day, our fucktoy, our good girl.

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October 2nd, 2012

Sadist in Training

I’m itching to play.
Desperate to have her body available to me.
Lining up my implements, considering what to use on her.
Wanting to practice my flogging technique on her bare skin.
Imagining the lines to be caused by my new canes.
Smirking at the idea of bringing her to her knees.
The sound of her gasp as I grab her hair.
My tender caress before the caring punch.
The grins on our faces when the scene is over
The glow that remains for days

July 20th, 2012

Fight Fire with Fire

Fire brings out a different side of me.  The thought of setting a trail of flash cotton over someone’s back and then teasing with a sparkler, flickering over their skin, feeling the prickling moments of heat dancing, never sure when the intense flash of pain will hit.

Fire mesmirises me, excites me and draws out the top in me.  I suddenly have a desire to tease and torment, playing with fire and ice, working with sensations, pushing the senses, driving someone crazy.

The glint in my eye, the crazy grin, the evil giggle; that’s what happens when you let a pyromaniac kinkster play with fire!

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