Posts tagged ‘merit badge’

May 29th, 2014

SMD Conference 2014

Well, it is over for another year but I am still coming down from an amazing weekend at the SM Dykes Manchester Annual Women’s Conference.  As always, it has been a wonderful weekend, starting with the auction on Friday night and ending with the final play party on Monday afternoon.

This year was my fourth conference, although I didn’t go to much last year.  It was very different for me, not going along with a partner and also realising that I am such a different person now.  I was so shy and reserved at my first one and now, I can barely recognise myself as I am so chatty, involved and bouncy.  The muscles in my face are still sore as I can’t stop smiling and laughing.  Not only did I have a fun weekend but also a successful one as I was running Lash for Lasses on Sunday and it went really well.  I’ve had loads of positive feedback from it and I covered all my costs too so I was a very happy bunny.

The workshops over the weekend were really interesting and fun and it was hard to choose just one each session.  I talked about cunt, leather community, pegs and Girl Guides and it was really good to spend the weekend with some of my favourite people, many whom I only get to see once or twice a year.  I even got to say my goodbyes when I gatecrashed the brunch on Monday morning!

The main thing I want to write about, though, is the Monday play party.  It was the only time I had to play all weekend, not that that was a problem, although I now also have a few people I need to organise dates with as I just didn’t have time over the weekend (another entirely new thing for me!).  I got chance to experience some different needle play with a top who I have admired for a long time.  She did a needle corset on my chest, laced with ribbon and it looked so pretty (I’m gutted I didn’t get a photo) but felt even more amazing, especially when the needles were being tweaked and played with.  The sensations were awesome and I got very floaty from just over a dozen needles.  I’m hoping I’ll get a chance to play with her more at some point as she really is a gorgeous person too.

I had enough time to come down enough for my main date planned over the weekend.  Time to properly break in my new floggers and to play with someone who I have not done enough mean things to, quite frankly!  Baited by his implication that flogging is just a nice sensation thing, I pushed myself to be that more mean, that little bit more forceful.  Pushing him against the wall, aggressive kissing, pushing my body against his.  Then the teasing hands and nails, running the falls over his skin, gentle caresses, a light, slow start to my flogging on his back.  Build up and pace, teasing, testing.  Adding speed and force, adding my second flogger, encouraged by the moans and hisses as it got harder.  I wish I could have gone on for so much longer but my fatigue of the weekend and timing meant it was time to end things, however much I craved to do more, however much I wanted to continue with my games.

What I do think I deserve is my flogging merit badge.  I love my new floggers and feel I can use them pretty well.  Of course, practise will only make me better but I’m definitely a lot more confident now.

September 15th, 2013

Back to School

It was Club Lash on Friday.  As usual, I was helping the RWN guys and was able to actually carry equipment in and out of the venue!  That’s a huge deal for me as I’ve not really had the strength in my hip to be able to do it until now.  It was also the Skool! theme night, something I would often ignore but felt like dressing a little bit silly.

Once we were set up, he ordered me to get changed, to make myself look like the cutest school girl I could.  I already had my hair in buns, a look that automatically makes me look a lot younger and more innocent.  On went my plaid skirt, my actual school tie, white knee high socks, shirt and crazy Mary Jane shoes.  I felt so very young, so very vulnerable and very much taken back to being a well behaved girl from when I was at school.  The outfit preparation took me from giggling, over caffeinated me to submissive, well behaved me.  I had thought that I just wanted to be used that night but, from then on, I wanted to be controlled, looked after, protected.

Most of the time, our D/s relationship isn’t high protocol and definitely isn’t a 24/7 thing.  I will often be bratty, take control myself or just be spending time very much as equals, with one of my closest friends.  There are the times, though, that I want to be controlled, that I want to adhere to rules and protocol, I want to do almost anything to make him proud of me.

He started with rope work.  Stripped down to just white knickers and a ball gag, in front of what turned into quite a large crowd.  A sign of things that have changed for me as I used to hate wearing gags and the idea of them in public…  Trying so hard to not just shy away from people’s gaze, trying so hard not to bow my head in embarrassment.  Finding it easier with time as the rope caressed my skin and took me to my happy rope headspace.  Taking a particularly hard beating and caning whilst in stressful rope.  Then being let down, allowed to kneel at his feet, ordered to tidy his rope in exchange for my clothes, him knowing it’s one of my favourite post rope play activities.

Back to reality and he took me for some fresh air, a stroll around the Village, making sure I was well aware of people looking at me.  Showing me off.

Back to Lash.  Chatting with friends, having a drink, asking permission to play with K.  A lovely flogging that put me into a daze.  Heavy, with soothing caresses.

Then back he came, to finish his beating.  Fists pummelling me, teeth biting into my flesh, my body sinking lower.  And then the spanking came.  The heavy, full force, slaps to my arse.  Over and over again.  Followed by my shoulders, my back and my arse again.  Heat rising from me, body craving, back arching for more.  Him pushing me, wanting to hear me cry out, wanting the tears to flow down my face.  And they came, but only when to led me off and sat me down, looked me in the eyes and told me how proud he was, how much he loves me, how beautiful I looked.  I feel so lucky and am reminded of how much I have when I hear words like that.  And I earned myself my spanking merit badge.

Our parting moment, on my knees, kissing his boots, his other foot on my neck, pinning me down, putting me in my place.  The place I want to be.

August 7th, 2013

Pincushion


I have earned my needle play badge, I feel.

I’ve been playing with needles for a while now, mainly having other people use me as a pincushion. In fact, it’s something I’ve been craving again for a while. I also won some supplies in the SMD auction last year, and bought some extra stuff in the hope that I would get to practice on a willing victim play partner sometime. So far, that’s been on my own arm. Not quite so much fun, really.

The other night, I had a surprising opportunity. I have been playing with this person for a little while now and they are revelling in their submissive side with me at the moment. I am able to push them and we both get a lot from it. They have a terrible fear of needles though so I would have never even thought of it until they said they would take anything for me.

Now, I know this is a very risky place to be. When a person trusts you that much, how far do you really push them? I knew they were working on the needle thing as a practical, medical related thing so I talked to them. They knew their safeword, they knew I wouldn’t push them too far and they knew I was there for them, to bring them back, to look after them. Although, I obviously like needles, I wasn’t doing this for me.

Skin prepped, I used needles the same gauge that I know are used for venepuncture. Careful, gentle, reassuring. The power of piercing the skin flowing through me. The immense pride in my bottom. Not because they took needles for me but because they took them at all and so well. I just hope I have helped make life a little easier, have eased the fear just a little bit, for they are strong and able to take more than I ever imagined. They deserve the badge more than I do but, I hope, that when they see I have it, they’ll remember why I do.

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I want to add that this was with full consent. I would never have done it without talking about it and stopped the second they wanted me to. I don’t play lightly with phobias and don’t think anyone should. I felt very honoured to be trusted this much and am very aware of my responsibility.

February 11th, 2013

Punishment

When punishment involves NOT having a gorgeous new knife used on you, I think you know you’re kinky!

Obviously, my punishment involved more than that, having disappointed R. The tears were pouring down my face before the first impact. I hate being a disappointment, not being a good girl. By the end of the scene, those tears were cathartic, release and relief, and of joy.

Part of my punishment was to choose implements. I mainly chose ones I thought would push me a little, especially at the stingy pain end of things. I wanted to see if I could take a caning again, wanted to feel abused and punished properly. R added the dragon tail, knowing it would scare me. I trust her.

She helped me get over this weird struggle I’ve had with pain processing, and emotional block. It felt fabulous. Plus, I’ve found a new toy I like! She also agreed with me that I deserve my caning kinky merit badge. I told myself I wanted to take a good caning again and feel comfortable about them again and I really do.