Posts tagged ‘lesbian’

January 31st, 2013

Almost

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Denying kisses is almost as hot as kisses themselves

June 22nd, 2012

Bracing

Oh, how I love being fucked by a woman in braces…

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September 9th, 2011

Sinzine Soapbox Rant – Femme Invisibility

I wrote this rant a little while ago, although it’s taken a while to be published.  There is obviously a flipside to it, which the darling S points out on a forum she frequents.

Why do you give her a look that says, “You don’t belong here”? Or even worse,
look straight through her, assuming she plays for the other side? Why does she feel
like an intruder in the gay bars when she’s git every right to be there? Why does
she feel invisible when she’s one of the most stunning women in the room? I’m
talking about all the gorgeous femmes out there, the ones that don’t want to dress
like the stereotypes imply. Those that like pretty clothes and wear makeup and aren’t
afraid of their femininity. My beautiful girlfriend is one of them; a girl that I can’t
believe I get to be on the arm of. And yet she gets a surprised look off many when
she says she’s a lesbian. She’s not about to exchange her heels for sensible Docs or
her dresses for dungarees but she’s still sad that, because she doesn’t confirm to a
stereotype, even other dykes fail to see her as one of them. She’s a little bit scared of
the local lesbian bar, in case people question her credentials and look at her like she’s
out of place. Why should she though? These wonderful femmes should be celebrated
for who they are. They shouldn’t be told, “There’s no way you’re a lesbian”. They
shouldn’t have to fight to be noticed. They should be accepted as part of our diverse
community.

February 12th, 2011

Better Sex

I’ve been having sex a while and I’d like to think I’m not too bad.  I like to satisfy my partners and also hope to enjoy myself too.  I’ve been with B for a long time; he was my first and is the only man that I’ve ever slept with.  I’m sure there’s some things I could learn to do things differently or maybe even better but I tend to feel pretty good about our sex life.  I’ll probably have a look at the some of the oral sex videos at some point but that’s for another post.

Where I feel less confident is sex with women.  I’ve only even been with 3 women and two of them were pretty much one night stands, part of trying to get that side of me ‘out of my system’ (like that was ever going to work!).

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January 5th, 2011

Coming Clean

I’ve never come out to my parents about my sexuality. This is not because I didn’t want to particularly but because of what they see my life as. I’ve been in a relationship with B for 10 years and my parents believe this is entirely monogamous. If I told them I fancy women too, are they likely to even entertain the idea as, from what they see, I have no real basis for my sexuality beyond looking at people and thinking they’re hot. I’ve found it easier over the years to just not bring it up. I don’t really hide the fact I am pretty much a lesbian but I’ve never come out and said “I’m gay”.

Being with S has made me think more about coming out to them. The discussions about her coming out to her own parents have made me think about my situation. I also love her and want to tell everyone I can about it! It’s not so simple though. When I come out to my parents, I’ll be doing it twice over. They will have to deal with the fact I like women (a lot) and the fact I’m involved with two people. Just how do you explain to someone you’re poly? How are they going to understand that I’m not having an illicit affair? Are they ever going to believe that B is fine with this? Will they cast me out for being immoral?

If my relationship was different with my parents, maybe I wouldn’t mind so much but we are very close. That’s one of the reasons it’s so hard keeping this from them as it is but can they ever be happy for me and not judge my life? I don’t even know where to begin explaining what’s going on in my life. I don’t even know if they’ve even heard of polyamory. I don’t want to hurt them. I know that how they feel about it won’t be my fault but I do know I can protect them from the pain, although at my own discomfort.

The thing is, I want them to know so that I can include S in my life more. I want her to meet the parents (I know they will like her), I want to be able to talk about her without holding back and I don’t want to have to leave this until it’s very necessary such as if we decide that we’re cohabiting. At the same time, our relationship is still new and I don’t need to be telling them just yet.

I need to strike a happy balance right now, both living in the moment and giving some consideration to the future. I may not need to tell my parents this right now but one day I will. Maybe I will have a sudden wonderful idea of how to do it, but for now, I’m going to make the most of my life and avoid actual lying, which is the same as I have been doing for years anyway.

December 6th, 2010

Distracted and Delighted

Well, my life has taken a turn for the happier, richer and more varied. I find myself in a very content life with a husband and a lover. My needs are met and for once, I feel like a am myself.

I’m not going to lie and say it’s incredibly easy but it’s not hard either. It feels right and natural. The only negative is that I can’t shout about it from the rooftops and that’s mainly because I don’t want to cause distress to people who will find it hard enough to process my love of women, never mind the actual other person in my life. There may come a time when it feels right to tell my family but, for now, they just know that I am happy.

Reading Ethical Slut has made me appreciate the need to be more honest to myself about my feelings which, in turn, has helped me be honest about them with the other people important in my life. I just wish I’d read this book years ago so I might not have lived in the closet for so long.

Talking about closets, I even feel more in touch with my sexuality and am happier identifying myself as a lesbian. I know that may sound odd, considering I have a very healthy relationship with my husband but I know in my heart that he truly is the only man I will ever want and if I lost him in whatever way, there would be no replacing him with another man, even if David Tennant was available! Honestly, there would be no replacing being done anyway but I don’t think I will ever love another man.

Basically, I am a happier, truer, realer me and I love my life.

May 15th, 2009

Objects of Desire

As I have said before, the only man I have any interest in sexually is my husband. In fact, the thought of other man naked makes my skin crawl. But women, on the other hand, fascinate me.

I love a woman with curves to die for, perfectly proportioned with skin that begs to be kissed all over. I love to caress specific lines along her body, along her collar bone, around the curve under her breast, down her waist to hip bones that stick out ever so slightly. I love women in their underwear, feeling proud of their shapeliness, stockings covering their legs, feet bound in gorgeous shoes, peep toes, heels, mary janes. I adore the softness of their touch, the sweet taste of their kiss, the unspoken understanding. I fantasise and desire to feel their warmth against me. I miss something but at the same time, don’t want to destroy the idea I have in my head.

There are a few real women in my life I would love to have a little extra fun with but they will remain the objects of my desire, secretly dreamt about, painful longing in my heart.