Archive for April, 2011

April 27th, 2011

All Good Things Must Come to an End

They say all good things must come to an end and so my time writing for Kink Academy is nearly over.  It’s been an interesting semester and I’m surprised at how it’s flown past in a blur.  My aim was to write about my experiences and how I’ve incorporated what I’ve seen into my life.  The past 3 months have been quite chaotic for me, with a lot going on and sometimes the kinkier aspects of who I am have fallen by the wayside a little but I’ve had Kink Academy to remind me to make an effort and some of the things I’ve learnt about and done have really helped strengthen my relationships.

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April 24th, 2011

New Experiences

Sometimes a good scene is all you need to make your troubles melt away!

I’m one of those people who carry a lot of tension and stress around with them all of the time. I’m a worry-wort. Sure, I have anxiety problems, but I’m also just quite a stressed person. Little things make me worry and will wind me up for days. I’m highly strung and I know it. A tend to feel most of this tension in my upper back and shoulders, with various people commenting on it. It hinders my dancing (I’m learning how to lindy hop and really need to loosen up at times) and it can make it hard for me to relax.

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April 21st, 2011

Between Crisp Sheets

Days like this catch my imagination and send my mind floating off to other places.  I long to be anywhere but work.  To start the day with the sun streaming through the window, light hitting the crisp cotton bedding, bodies entwined, sunlight warming naked skin.  To spend the day in lazy abandon, relishing the moment, seeing beauty in everything illuminated by the bright beam.  Passion coursing through limbs, entangled in soft sheets, lost in a beautiful Spring day.

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April 17th, 2011

Sex Ed 101

Sex education is a really important thing, something which I personally think needs to be covered in schools by properly trained people, several times over the course of formal education, starting early enough to try and catch those who develop early. However much we might not like it, children are trying to grow up quicker, being exposed to more and more sexual images earlier on and, until we get to the route of the problem, people are going to be experimenting earlier. One of my favourite things about Kink Academy is the range of videos on the more basic things, such as safety and health related issues.

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April 9th, 2011

Kinky and Crafty

I’m a huge fan of crafting; I knit, do cross stitch and enjoy creating things. I also love munches. It’s great to have a social space to chat with fellow kinky people and get to know them. I think it’s easy to meet different people in a vanilla setting; there’s no hiding behind the latex clothing or being judged for your play style, you just get to hang out with like-minded people. So what better way than to combine the two and have a crafty munch?

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April 6th, 2011

A Possible Letter…

…or a letter of possibility.

I wrote a letter to my parents in my notebook last month, just after the SMDykes workshop on BDSM and poly.  I seem to find myself thinking most about coming out to my parents just before the monthly meeting.  I don’t know exactly why.  Maybe it’s because of the openly poly people there or because going reminds myself that my parents have no idea about that part of me.
I want to come out to them.  I find it hard bending the truth plus I don’t want it to come across to anyone that I’m ashamed of S being my girlfriend (which is so far from the truth, it’s almost funny).  I’m just so scared of their reaction, of the things they might do and say because it hurts them.  If I just wanted the easy life, I’d continue not telling them but at what cost?  The lies would get bigger, the guilt will get to me and it’d be messy.  I’ve decided there’s never going to be a perfect time; there’s always going to be something going on that will stop me, a birthday here, father’s day there etc and I could put it off forever but that just won’t do.  It has to be done; they need to be told.  By the end of June, I’m going to tell them.  Sometime after my cousin’s wedding (that’s too close and I do have to spend too much time around them to want to tell them beforehand).  But how?  How can I ever find the right words?  What do I tell them?  How do I do it?  Do I send them a letter and go through the wait, wondering whether they’re read it?  Do I tell them in person and risk tumbling over my words and getting upset?  Do I slip it into casual conversation?  Do I hand them a note and wait to see their faces drop?  No way is ever going to be perfect but I need to pick one.  Anyway…the following is the letter I wrote…I just don’t know if this is the ‘best’ option.
Dear Mum and Dad,
This isn’t an easy letter for me to write but I need to be honest with you and to stop hiding something from you that is very important to me.
I am polyamorous.  I don’t know if this is a term that you’ve come across but, for me, it means being open to having more than one emotional relationship whilst being honest with everyone involved.  B knows about about this and is happy for me because I can be truly myself.  My feelings for him haven’t changed; he is still my husband, I love him and he means the world to me but there is also someone else in my life, whom I love.  S and I have been together for a little while now.  She knows all about B and is, in fact, quite good friends with him now.
It has been hard for me to tell you all of this as I don’t want you to be disappointed in me; I am still the same person, I just get to be honest and share with you what’s going on in my life.  It’s important that I tell you as I don’t want to lie to you and I’ve hated not being fully open with you.  I know it may be hard for you to understand and if you need me to talk to you about it more, please ask me.  It doesn’t mean that B means any less to me or that our relationship has problems.
I hope that you can accept this of me.  I’ve told you because you are an important part of my life and it was getting too hard knowing that I was keeping things from you. 
A x
April 4th, 2011

Teacher’s Pet

When I was at school, I had a favourite teacher who I was constantly trying to impress and get in the good books of. Being good at her subject, it was pretty easy and looking back, I was definitely a teacher’s pet. I’m starting to think that, if Kink Academy was a bricks and mortar school that I could actually attend, Gray Dancer would be that teacher for me. He’s definitely my favourite faculty member currently and I really enjoy watching what he has to say. And what’s more, he really is very informative and I think I have learnt the most from him, so far.

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